When The World Ends
by Survivor88
Summary: Farewell to Fairytales... and hello to The End of the World....[COMPLETE] Read and Review! :
1. Just The Beginning

We've already seen what Kathy's leaving has done to Elliot, but what if he reallyhurt himself, put his job in grave danger, and hurt one person above everyone else...

Please read and review to tell me what you think!

Thanks and Enjoy!

* * *

Kathy was gone ... she took the kids ... the only place he feels comfortable at all is at work. 

Now his shield is in jeopardy.

All because a rape victim, who constantly changes her story, has accused him of harassment.

"Elliot, would talk to me!"

Olivia ran after him trying to get him to clue her in to what Scarey opened her mouth about.

"Kathy left me and she took the kids, is that what you wanted to hear!" he shouted at her, frustrated and annoyed.

The partners stood in the bullpen, Liv staring at a huffing Elliot and Elliot watching his partners shocked expression.

Wordlessly, Elliot stormed out of the squadroom and out in to the night.

He abandoned his work and stalked in to the bar the squad frequented, to blow off steam or to celebrate a victory.

"I'll have... uh... whiskey straight up."

Elliot wanted to feel the sting of the liquid as is sliced down his throat. If he felt that then he could forget what crap was going on at work and at home...

But an hour and several drinks later the only thing Elliot felt was a drunken stupor.

He didn't care.

What mattered was that he had poured his problems out and swallowed them back up.

The idea didn't occur to him that his remedy would tarnish and nearly destroy everything...

* * *

Well? Come on now and gimme somethin... please 


	2. Shakey Ground

Only inky blackness filled the sky.

There was no moon to guide him home, many miles away.

Elliot stumbled, he didn't feel drunk subconsciously but he was. No effort was made to haul a cab, he knew cabs always passed by anyone who appeared shifty late at night.

So he made for the subway. That seemed to take an eternity.

An hour and half later Elliot had entered his house.

What welcomed him home was an empty, unmade bed Kathy and he used to share. All he did now was fall belly down and, without removing his clothes or even his shoes, fell asleep.

Dreams plagued his sleep; of Kathy sleeping beside him, of his kids tucked safely in their beds, and of a security Elliot once felt, but now was unsure of. Further dreams of past successes and past failures ... of his former partner and the life he used to know. When his kids were little, the day each of them were born, the day he and Kathy welcomed fraternal twins. All of these memories drifted in and out of his slumber.

Morning brought no remembrance of those times.

A hangover the size of the world pounded in his ears and flip-flopped in his stomach.

Only the knowledge that work beckoned sent Elliot in to a white-hot shower and rumpled, but clean clothing.

It was the same old atmosphere at work, except today Liv eyed him with ... with what? With caution or pity...? Elliot gave his head a shake and began scribbling on some paperwork that he wasn't really concentrating on.

"El... El!... ELLIOT!"

"What?"

Liv stared at him curiously when Elliot looked up upon finally hearing his name called.

"Come on, we gotta go to the courthouse now" Liv informed him.

Still speaking, but at the same time, not speaking the partners strode down and out to their squad car. The entire way to the trial Elliot kept shaking his head in an effort to defog his hungover brain. His headache had subsided with aspirin and mega amounts of coffee, Starbucks, not Munch's.

"You OK?" Liv asked him quietly.

"Fine" came his usual quiet answer. She nodded and kept driving.

Minutes later Elliot sat next to Liv believing that this trial was ridiculous, that this was a he said, she said and that it would go with a not guilty. Elliot believed this because first off Myra hadn't been all that honest about certain information and, plain and simple, there was reasonable doubt. Ron also had marks on his body as well so it was maybe rough sex...

So in Elliot's opinion this case was cut and dry.

Of course he knew his partner probably disagreed, 'But at this point,' Elliot thought,'oh well'.

Unfortunately he could not take a 'whatever' approach when he was called on to the stand, of course to testify on the harassment suit filed against him.

The examination and cross-examination was in the expected fashion, Scarey questioning why he'd escorted Myra home, why he'd had to catch her on the stairs, and his past record.

Casey questioning much the same way but for the People's side.

In Elliot's mind coming off of the stand, it was aggravating to be accused and disconcerting when the victim was uncooperative.

He sat back down silently, but this time Liv nudged him and stared in to his cloudy blue eyes. For the first time in awhile he grinned at her, a message passing between them as only partners of six years can do silently.

There would be no verdict today. A recess was called.

"Wanna grab a bite to eat?" Liv inquired.

"Nah, got paperwork to do and stuff", Elliot declined now in a mildly better mood. Liv let the 'and stuff' go.

But it's what they did, or, rather what Liv did.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Elliot again shook his head, "Just thinkin about my kids", he smiled sadly at Liv who smiled back... But behind his eyes, in the recesses of his mind, other thoughts swirled.

The way Scarey questioned him with her snide, reproachful gaze. That got to him, he'd been a cop for almost twenty years without a single citation or note in his file, it pissed him off to be accused. The only other piece that upset him more was Scarey's delving in to his personal life, his family... 'She had no right!' Elliot thought furiously.

Unbeknownst to him Liv was watching Elliot's face contort and his distant gaze harden.

She wasn't going to push now, 'What is he thinking?' she wondered silently.

"I'm gonna go now- I'll see you tomorrow" Elliot stood up, his gaze steely.

He grabbed his coat and stood for a minute as his partner regarded him curiously concerned.

"El, it's still early- do you wanna get dinner?"

"No thanks, gonna see my kids", he lied. What was really on his mind was getting these events out of his mind.

Liv nodded, "Good, I'll see you tomorrow then too."

Elliot bid he good night and found his car outside the 1-6 where he'd left it yesterday.

Back to the "ass-end" of Queens.

At home, still sober, Elliot tossed his jacket on the couch and went to put the Chinese take out he'd picked up, on plates. The fridge was stocked with beer- he chose a Samual Adams and took it with him to the living room.

Characteristic of men Elliot flicked on ESPN then proceeded to eat and drink.

One drink was not enough tonight because, once again, he heard the silence and felt the sting of his reality and what may lie ahead.

So Elliot drank. And drank. And drank. Until he blinked, his vision focusing on the bottle filled table. He'd never felt this feeling before, this feeling of real dependency, and he rather liked it now. Elliot knew it was a budding activity but whatever. Grabbing another beer Elliot lay on the couch and fell asleep, a Heineken now in his loose grasp.

Again dreams would fill up his mind... He was spiraling down and only vaguely cared...

* * *

Well? Do I still have it? Just give me something :) 


	3. Falling away

Somewhere in the darkness a song played like a broken record over and over again, loudly.

Inside his head Elliot was going crazy, he felt sick to his stomach and more exhausted than when he'd lain down hours ago. And his throbbing brain felt as if it might burst from his skull.

Still, he couldn't get the noise to abate.

Reluctantly, Elliot raised an eyelid but closed it quickly because the sunlight gave him a newfound pain behind his eyes.

"Oho," he moaned.

He peeled open his eyelids with great effort. What met his tired eyes was a coffee table laden with bottles; Sam Adams's, Budwieser, and a Corona or two. On the floor were two Heinekens, one of which had spilled falling from his sleep grasp.

Ignoring the sight before him Elliot rummaged around clumsily for his cell phone, it played the theme song of NYPD Blue. He found it under the couch.

"Stabler."

"Where the hell are you?"

It was Liv.

"Oh, um the kids and I were out late," Elliot lied easily, as was becoming commonplace.

"Well, get yourself down here, we have to get to the courthouse!" Liv exclaimed.

"I'll be there forthwith" Elliot said trying to inject some humor. The phone clicked and the line disconnected.

He sighed.

Groggy and hungover as was also becoming usual, Elliot pushed himself off of the couch. He swayed on his feet afraid his knees would give, but he stayed upright however wobbly, and crept upstairs.

His shower was ice cold and exploding from the head.

He slid under gingerly, "Ouch," Elliot seethed when the water made contact with his skin.

That shower was quite possibly the shortest one he'd ever taken; Elliot found rumpled but clean clothes and dashed out of his house, keys and wallet in his hands.

First stop: Starbucks for a Grande regular coffee.

Next stop: 1-6 precinct.

"Took you long enough didn't it," Liv told him sarcastically. She was sitting on the hood of their squad car waiting impatiently with coffee in hand.

"Sorry," Elliot apologized halfheartedly.

In silence the partners got in to their car and maneuvered through the typical Manhattan traffic.

"How are the kids?" Liv asked.

"Good, we had pizza and went to the park and watched movies. Kathy picked them up around 11."

Elliot found this lie easy, he was getting good at it.

"Good, that's good El," she smiled for the first time that morning and he smiled back. She couldn't yet tell he was fabricating everything he told her from thin air. Another sigh

As quietly and unsuspectingly as possible they slid inside the courtroom and stood against the wall. Scarey was finishing up her closing remarks, Casey already went so the next thing to do was wait for the jury to decide the verdict.

'This can't take very long' Elliot thought to himself, his opinion was as it had been yesterday, he thought this cut and dry.

And he was right, it took only a short time.

"We find the defendant guilty."

Elliot's eyes widened in disbelief, Liv looked stunned not quite sure how she felt about this.

Myra gasped filled with relief and Casey smiled.

Ron looked as disbelieving as Elliot as he was led from the courtroom pending sentencing.

"Thank You, Ms. Novak," Myra smiled at her counselor and hugged her briefly. "It was my pleasure, take care" Casey responded, she didn't really liked to be hugged so she nodded at Liv and Elliot and headed out to face whatever and whoever was out there.

"I'm sorry Detective Stabler and thanks to both of you."

Liv rubbed her upper arm, "Congratulations," and then she looked at her partner, he didn't really look pleased or displeased so all he did was give Myra a fake smile.

Myra walked out of the courtroom.

Liv looked at Elliot, "What was that about?" she asked him.

"What was what about? Come on let's go eat," he turned away from Liv and followed the few lagging people from the courtroom. Liv stared after him.

Outside Elliot was leaning against their car in the sun with his face turned upward and his eyes closed. He was surprised at the verdict and felt some pity for Ron, the guy was gonna lose his kid cause of this and he knew how that felt to not be able to see your kids.

When Liv walked up to him he ignored her by pretending to be dozing. That wasn't totally false though, he was resting somewhat.

Liv stared at Elliot until he finally met her gaze, "What the hell is going on with you?"

Unfazed, Elliot shook his head "Whaddya mean?"

Another longer gawking stare. She couldn't believe Elliot.

"Your attitude in there, your general attitude!" Liv raised her voice at him annoyed and frustrated.

"I'm fine, just tired and my attitude is fine too. My wife left me and took our kids with her but otherwise I'm good and 'in there,'" he nodded at the large courthouse, "I was just surprised at the verdict, nothing more nothing less."

"Yeah right, OK" Liv nodded unconvinced and showing it.

Frustrated himself, and trying to get away from the subject of himself and his life Elliot got off of the car and walked around to the drivers side and got in.

Liv followed suit, all the more annoyed and now angered.

They were silent on the ride through New York.

Back at the 1-6 they stalked in to the squad room not looking at each other but instead tossing one another sidelong glances that could freeze hell.

"What's wrong with you two?" Cragen questioned when he exited his office.

"Nothing," Liv answered stiffly.

Their captain looked at both of his detectives expectantly, but neither would give so he proceeded with his original aim, "Rape victim in Central Park, west side between 76th street and 77th street under the Eaglevale Arch."

He laid the print out on Elliot's desk and walked away.

Liv took the paper and began to walk out of the room without waiting for Elliot who was standing with his eyes shut and rubbing a hand across his tired face.

He went after her when Liv was no longer within his sight.

"You know I don't have to tell you everything" Elliot informed Liv when they were both in the car.

Nodding in response she said, "You're right, you don't, but it would be nice if you would talk to me ya know. I'm in the dark here..."

That had occurred to Elliot except he didn't want to turn the light on for fear of what his partner might say or do. He refrained from answering at all.

Central Park was crowded, especially when there was cops and media around; Liv and Elliot had to fight through the crowd badges out and visible.

"What's with all the mayhem?"

A uniformed officer helped the detectives under the tap, "She's some child star."

Liv looked at Elliot and they made there way to the ambulance just outside the arch. CSU was there, Elliot went to talk to them while Liv went to the ambulance.

"What happened?" she asked another uniformed officer.

"A horseback rider found her curled up against the wall of the arch shivering and sobbing. She was all bruised up and her clothes were torn, there was a lot of blood too. Rider called us from his cell. That's all we got for now. Name's Riley Albert, she's 14."

"Hi Riley, my name's Olivia, I'm a detective."

"Hi," the girl answered softly.

She's on a gurney in the center so Liv sat on a side seat and continued.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Riley shrugged and looked at her hands but didn't speak. Under the blanket and attached to an IV the teenager looked like a small child, her fear making her appear even younger.

Liv looked at her and placed at hand on her shoulder gently, Riley flinched then apologized.

"It's OK," Liv assured Riley not at all surprised with the reaction to her touch.

Both were silent, until Elliot walked over.

He gestured for Liv to step aside with him, "CSU found two ID cards, one is from a no-name production company with Riley's info on it. The other is a New York State drivers license, it belongs to a Mr. Roger Albert, 47."

Liv looked around for a minute gathering her thoughts, "Think her dad raped her? Or her uncle?"

Elliot shrugged, "Dunno, get her story and I guess we'll work from there and whatever else CSU digs up."

Nodding Liv hopped back in to the rig, "Riley, we're gonna go to the hospital now, Okay?"

She didn't answer. Instead she began a soft narrative:

"I just came from an audition, it was for a new independent movie. My dad ... he came with me and watched and stuff. I stumbled over some lines and my dad was mad, he said he wasn't but then we were walking around here and he looked angry. I started to ask him about it when he smacked me and started saying all this stuff about how I was stupid. I was pissed so I gave him a nasty look and he threw me in to the bushes and ... and..."

Riley had to stop for the tears that finally flowed and the breathes that came quick and short.

"Shhh, take your time" Liv said gently.

"And he raped me."

More tears trickled down the child's face and she was silent again. They were at the ER then.

Sighing heavily, Liv got out with the gurney, Elliot waiting for them outside the ER entrance.

The partners didn't speak, instead Liv went in with Riley while Elliot waited outside.

45 minutes later Liv walked out of the exam room, kit in hand, "Riley said her dad raped her," Liv confirmed then.

Elliot's eyes betrayed him, he was angry and tired.

"You know what, go home I got this."

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Go, I'll call you if need be or I'll see you tomorrow."

Elliot seemed to weigh his options and finally relented nodding acceptance of the offer, their earlier quarrel seemingly forgotten.

Bidding his partner good-bye Elliot went back to the precinct and picked up his car.

On the way back home he made only one stop.

Once at home, tired and angry and so many other emotions, he placed the six packs of beer on the counter.

He began his new ritual.

Elliot drank. And drank. And drank. All for Riley and his kids and his shitty job and his now crumbling life. He drank for himself and he drank because of how he felt.

Drinking himself in to numbness Elliot fell in to an alcohol induced sleep...

* * *

What did you think of my latest chapter? What did you think of me making a verdict on the _"Doubt"_ case? All criticism welcome... 


	4. Suspicion

Inside her apartment it was cool and dark and quiet. There were no whirring sirens, no unruly perps, and no sobbing victims. It was peaceful and calming.

Liv lay on her back staring at the ceiling and nursing a mug of green tea.

Riley had been cared for, sent to stay with her aunt and uncle on Long Island. Munch and Fin had tracked down Mr. Albert, police surviellance had been set up at his apartment in Battery Park. When the DNA from the kit came back they would bring him in and go from there.

For now Liv had another person to worry about and decipher.

That person was Elliot.

"What is going on with him?" Liv asked the shadows, fully understanding that the shadows could not answer her.

She knew Elliot thought he was being a good actor and fooling her, but he was wrong. Liv knew something was not right and she knew that whatever it was that was up was bad. First there was his secretiveness about Kathy and his home life; Second came Elliot's bad, even scary attitude with the _she said/he said_ case and his disposition towards her, his partner. The list never ended- from his rumpled clothes to his hazy expression.

'I am a detective damn it! I should be able to figure this out', Liv thought furiously.

Although, Elliot was a detective too, he knew when he was being interrogated and he knew almost all of the techniques and strategies to getting someone to talk...

Deep in the farthest corner of her mind Liv knew what was going on.

She knew with all of her instincts and the evidence already on the table that her partner was self-destructing.

What Liv did not know, however, was how to prove it and what to do afterwards.

There was no way she was going to go to Cragen just yet, it was one thing to be suspicious and quite another to make accusations. Then again, this was Cragen, their boss, the man who in many aspects was much like a father. Maybe it would be a good idea to go to Cragen, or maybe she should wait... Yes, waiting would be a good plan and if in a few days more evidence turned up or her suspicions were somehow confirmed then Cragen would be brought in.

Yawning wide it occurred to Liv how hard she was mulling over this and how much more exhausted it was making her.

Liv placed the mug on the coffee table and padded to the bathroom where a warm bath waited and afterwards her warm bed beckoned to her. Liv fell asleep a short time later, her mind full of everything but her body too tired to deal with it just then... and sleep came...


	5. Secret No More

Sorry, I haven't updated in a while, but my uncle (my grandparents baby) got married last weekend and then I was down at the Shore for a week. Now I'm back and here is the latest chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

"OK, where are we on the Albert case?" Cragen asked when he had his detectives assembled in the squadroom the next morning. 

Liv looked at her notepad, "Riley's aunt is bringing her in soon while we get Mr. Albert. There was semen present in her kit so we're gonna get a warrant for his DNA if he doesn't willingly submit it.

"Good, I'll call Novak and let her know what's up." Cragen headed back towards his office, but stopped at the door, "By the way, where is Elliot?"

Liv wondered that herself, "He'll be in soon, Cap."

Cragen looked skeptical, but merely nodded anyway.

"We'll bring Mr. Albert in while you get a hold of Elliot," Munch offered the look on his face telling Liv he knew something was going on.

In answer Liv picked up the phone and dialed the house first; Fin patted her arm and followed Munch to the car.

_"Hi, you've reached the Stabler's leave a message and we'll get back to you."_

"Elliot, it's me pick up the phone," Liv commanded,"Fine, when you get this get your ass in here."

Liv hung up and then dialed his cell.

_"Hello, you've reached Detective Stabler.If this is an emergency press 1, if you're one of my kids or colleagues leave a message or press 2. Thanks, Bye."_

Liv waited for the beep, "It's me, I tried the house but you didn't answer. When you get this you'd better be getting your ass here."

This was beyond frustrating, however the arrival of Riley and her Aunt Patrice kept Liv from being able to ponder and stew.

She had work to do.

* * *

Unconscious on the couch Elliot was unaware of time and space, caught in a chronic haze and not caring anymore about his path but only of covering it. 

Last night had been about drowning his sorrows in booze and throwing himself a pity party.

It wasn't much different from any other night-it had become mundane in fact.

Deep in his mind terrible dreams kept him tied in to slumber, pulled him farther in to the dark tunnel he was stumbling in to. The nightmares of failed cases, the children who'd been murdered flicked in and out of his memory. Their faces would not leave him alone. Cries for their mothers and fathers and the children's plea's to stop the pain.

_"I'm coming! I'll save you!"_

Elliot found himself running down a never-ending tunnel to faces and cries that stretched on endlessly.

_"It's OK, I'm cccoo...ccooomm...cccccoooommingg."_

His voice trailed away and he tumbled through space. The tumble sent his psyche reeling, the faces of Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie circling him, their smiles and I love yous tearing at his heart because he couldn't hug them, his and Kathy's raised voices reaching his ears. Awful images of the sick bastards he arrested played with his mind and Elliot now saw his children in those dead kids places.

_"NONONO"_

Elliot was shouting and crying and sweating.

"NO!"

That was how the dream ended, he never could get to the end.

"Jesus Christ," Elliot gasped breathlessly.

Blinking in the midmorning light he worked to orient himself with his surroundings. When Elliot sat up from the couch he stared at the bottles all over the family room, it looked like a dump. His eyes traveled around the room for anything out of place, the only movement came from the blinking numbers on the TV clock: 9:45.

"Oh shit!"

Elliot scrambled around trying to locate his cell phone, the symbol for voicemail displayed, he dialed his number, put in the password, and waited to press 1.

_'You have ONE new message'_

_-"Elliot, you better be getting your ass down here, I tried home but got no answer-get the hell here! Bye."_

He flipped the phone closed-if Liv was pissed Cragen must be steamed.

The phone message said generally the same thing; taking the stairs two at a time Elliot reached the top step, of course not without tripping and falling up the steps at least once.

Not thinking about taking a shower he merely changed his clothes, grabbed his keys and wallet then sprinted from the house. Driving to the 1-6 Elliot probably broke every traffic law there was, but he reached the precinct in one piece nonetheless.

He sat for a moment collecting his nerves and gearing up for the screaming match he was certain would occur very soon.

Elliot got out and went up.

* * *

"Mr. Albert will not give us a DNA sample. Last night the doc took a blood sample from Riley to compare to the DNA in the kit, the samples are similar. It's gotta be Albert's." 

Cragen sighed, "I'll call Casey and get a court order."

"Hold on, he wants a drink and I'll get it that way," Liv grinned.

Heavy footsteps she knew well made her turn around, the grin falling from her face and turning in to a frown of bewilderment.

"Well, Elliot it's nice of you to grace us with your presence," Cragen admonished.

Elliot put on his best apologetic face, "It won't happen again Cap, I swear."

Cragen didn't look convinced, but let it slide.

Liv, however, looked more angry than he'd imagined she would.

"What's going on with the Albert case?" Elliot wondered, his gaze not meeting his partners, but rather staring at his captain.

"I'm calling Casey to get a court order for Mr. Albert's DNA, he's in interrogation one. Riley is with her aunt in the kids room, he doesn't know she's here and we prefer to keep it that way." Cragen finished.

Liv walked out of Cragen's office to her desk not waiting for him to finish filling Elliot in on their current case, she sat at her desk to do some paperwork and wait for the order so she could call Warner.

Elliot walked to his desk.

"Where the hell were you?"

"Oh, uh, I overslept cause the kids called me last night before bed."

It was a bald-faced lie and they both knew that.

"Sure Elliot, OK." Liv looked up at her partner, her glare sending a million messages that he was sure he hadn't seen before in all their years of working together.

Sighing he sat down, made a steeple with his fingers, and watched Liv wondering what was in her head right then.

"What? What do you think is going on? Huh?" his tone was accusatory as if she was the one who'd been acting like a pain in the ass lately.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, I'm not the one who's been late twice in a row and I'm not the one with a sharp, slicing chip on their shoulder."

He shrugged.

That pissed Liv off more than anything else had, she stormed out of the room and Elliot knew exactly where she was going so he followed her not wanting to lose this fight; if he lost then he was screwed.

"You are so damn self-righteous do you know that? You've attacked me for the last week!"

Elliot began on Liv as soon as they were on the roof.

"Excuse me! You're attitude sucks lately, you're late, and you treat me like crap! Elliot I know something is going on with you, but you refuse to cop to anything."

"Because nothing is going on," his jaw tightened.

Turning away from Elliot, Liv looked out over the afternoon sun soaked city falling silent.

When she spoke again Liv's tone was quiet, but hard as rock, " You're late, you're temper is short, and you're keeping your whole life a secret."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I think you have some sort of problem, I know all the signs Elliot so don't play this bullshit with me."

That she was right on target amazed him, but she didn't know exactly and he didn't want her to so Elliot scrambled to think up a retort, none came to him.

"Whatever Olivia, you think that."

Elliot went back inside with his heart racing and his mind pummeling him because he could not cover his tracks fast enough. Behind him he heard Liv slowly follow.

"I have the court order and Warner's coming to take the sample" Cragen informed them all when Liv and Elliot returned; Munch and Fin looked at each other and then at Liv, they knew the two had had a blowout they just wondered how long it would be until everything crumbled. Or what Cragen would do.

"We'll go speak with Mr. Albert," Munch got up with Fin in his wake.

Cragen stared at Liv and then at Elliot, "Anyone care to tell me what is going on with you two?"

"Everything's fine, Cap" Liv said, trying to keep her tone even and neutral.

Not waiting for either man to speak she went to the kids room to talk to Riley.

"Elliot is there something going on?"

"Nope, everything's fine."

That was enough to evoke a laugh if it were funny in the least bit...

* * *

"OK Riley, you're dad is here so you need to stay here a little longer." 

The teen nodded.

"Now, we're gonna get a sample of his DNA to compare with the DNA in your kit. Then after that, if it matches we'll place him under arrest, he'll go to a hearing and bail will be set. If he doesn't fess up then this will go to trial."

A question formed on Patrice's lips, "Why can't bail be remanded?"

"Bail is only remanded in homicide cases. I'm sorry."

The two nodded.

"Now we can get a restraining order-"

"Yes," Patrice and Riley interrupted at the same time.

Liv stood up, "OK, I'll call ADA Novak to set that up. Why don't you head home and try to get some rest and I'll call when I know everything."

Making sure Mr. Albert was safely tucked away Patrice and Riley left the precinct.

Elliot was escorting Warner from squadroom, "I'll call when I get the results."

"Thanks."

The partners ignored each other.

"Anyone want any lunch?" Fin asked, the clock reading 1:30, jeez time flew.

The team ordered.

Not much to do then except paperwork, they got to work...

"It's a match" Liv told Munch a few hours later.

Fin took out his cuffs and walked in to the interrogation room, "Mr. Albert you are under arrest for the rape of Riley Albert, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law, you still have the right to an attorney if you cannot afford one one will be appointed for you."

The ball was rolling and Liv called to inform Patrice. It was late and Liv was tired, Elliot had gone minutes before; they were still not speaking.

She thought about her previous night's thoughts, maybe it was time to talk to Cragen?

On the way home Liv wondered if her gut was right, if Elliot had a substance abuse problem, she knew all of the signs...

* * *

Beer in hand Elliot watched TV and ate pizza. Liv didn't know what she was talking about, he told himself. 

"She only thinks she knows about this and maybe she does but she doesn't know it all."

The TV only answered by switching to a commercial break.

Elliot finished off his third beer, not touched at all, he'd developed a wonderful tolerance in his opionion.

However, something startled him from this ritual. The doorbell.

"Oh shit", Elliot whispered.

What if it was Liv? Or Kathy?

There was no way to pretend he wasn't home because it was obvious he was.

"Daddy?" the door opened.

Maureen.

Oh shit.

At the sight of her house and the sight of her father Maureen was stunned, "Oh my God, Dad" she whispered...


	6. Humpty Dumpty and All the Kings Women

I'm loving the reviews! Thanks you guys :) Anyway I bet you can't wait to read what Maureen does, well here's your chance ... E-N-J-O-Y :)

* * *

Elliot stood in the midst of the mess that was the living room. 

Maureen's eye's were wide and an angry blush was creeping up her neck; in her blue eye's Elliot saw hurt and confusion, anger and sadness and shock etched in to her pretty young face.

"Maureen, I..."

No plausible excuse came to him.

"Save it Dad, I just thank God I didn't bring the kids with me."

Without giving her father time to speak Maureen grabbed up her bag and jogged from the house. She didn't know what to do then, she didn't want to make the long trek back to school in the City but she didn't want to go to her mom either.

_'I might be angry with dad and he's messing up big, but mom doesn't need to know.'_

Stopping at the corner where a bus came every twenty minutes Maureen sat on the bench just outside of the streetlight.

There in the shadows Maureen stared in to space, the tears trickled down her reddened cheeks but she couldn't care less. What Elliot had done and was doing caused anger and shock to well in to her chest. It was that hot, seeping anger and pain that made a person feel as if they were going to erupt in to flames.

Knowing no one was around she finally broke her gaze with the darkness and buried her face in her hands and sobbed...

In the time Maureen had left the house Elliot hadn't moved, instead he stood there with a beer still in his hand and an expression full of surprise and fear and shame.

_'What if she goes to Kathy?'_

It was a thought that was both selfish and warranted at the same time.

Elliot knew he'd hurt his daughter, his baby girl, and he knew that she was probably more shocked than he was at seeing her.

"What am I going to do?" Elliot wondered aloud.

Taking his seat back on the couch Elliot stared in to space; the TV was still on and the only noise that existed at that moment.

Not knowing what to do next Elliot put the half-finished bottle to his lips and gulped the liquid that had put him in this predicament...

* * *

It had gotten cool and darker. There were no moon or stars to brighten the inky black night. 

Maureen's face was dry, but sticky and moist from the dried tears. She took a deep breath and looked around at the surrounding darkness of her neighborhood.

_'What now?'_

Buses had come and gone, they stopped circulating at twenty minute intervals at midnight.

Looking at her cell phone LCD Maureen saw that it was close to 12:45; since leaving the house Maureen had been sitting on the bench for almost two hours.

She still didn't know where to go.

Two hours before Maureen had decided firmly that she wouldn't go to her mom, but she also couldn't get back to the city without having to go through several transport systems and she was entirely too tired. Besides, Sandy had gone home too so she'd be in her dorm alone and that was a prospect Maureen didn't like either, she really needed someone right then.

In her mind Maureen wrestled with whom to call and where to go.

Reaching in to the pocket of her jacket she extracted her cell phone, went to the contacts and pressed a contact she was sure she'd never call.

"It's Maureen, I'm sorry I woke you ... no I'm OK, but uh, could you come get me?... I'm at the corner of our block ...Thank you so much ... Bye."

* * *

All around the room were clothes that were clean but hadn't been put away, mainly because she had no time to do such activities. 

Grabbing clean undergarments, a t-shirt, and jeans Liv dressed quickly. She ran brush through her chestnut locks and before she could catch her breath Liv was in her car going out to Queens.

In the passenger seat was Liv's gun belt, she glanced at it everyone now and then.

_'What had happened? Was Maureen OK?'_

Scary images of how she might find her partners eldest child raced through her mind, Liv blinked several times to erase the possibilities.

With very little traffic for a Friday night Liv made it to Queens in a little over an hour.

She went to the corner where Maureen said she'd be and parked the car across the street.

"Maureen?" Liv asked when she approached.

The 20 year old looked up and Liv was instantly afraid.

"Honey, what happened? Are you hurt? Who hurt you?"

Shaking her head Maureen spoke quietly, but with conviction, "I wasn't raped."

Liv believed her, but then why was her face shiny, her nose red, and her young skin so papery?

Maureen took a deep breath, "I found daddy on the couch in our house surrounded by beer bottles, left over food, and an almost gone six-pack next to him."

She got the same reaction from Liv that Elliot had gotten from her, shock, however, it wasn't as powerful because Liv had known something was going on... her worst fear had been confirmed.

"OK, come on let's go to my car."

Carefully and slowly, Liv helped Maureen up and guided her in to the passenger seat. Her gun belt was tossed in to the back seat, thank God she didn't need it then.

In silence they drove a short ways to the Stabler residence, "Wait here OK? I'll be back soon."

Maureen nodded.

Liv got out of the car and walked purposefully up in to the house, "Elliot?" she called as she

entered.

Walking further in she found the house just as Maureen had described it, a mess.

Elliot didn't answer her because she found him on the couch passed out, the empty six-pack next to him.

"Elliot ... Elliot ... wake up."

Liv shook his shoulder until he awoke with a start.

"Livia?"

"Yea, it's me" she stared down at him disdainfully.

Rubbing his hands over his face groggily Elliot began to sit up, "What're you doing here?" he asked, the state of his house lost to him in his sleepy state.

"I have Maureen in my car, she's coming back with me to my apartment."

His eyebrows scrunched in to a frown, "Why?" Elliot began to ask but it dawned on him what had happened earlier and how his home looked.

"Yea. You screwed up." Liv bluntly stated.

Then she began to walk out, "I'm coming back tomorrow and we're gonna talk. Good Night Elliot."

Liv headed out to the car to find Maureen sleeping in the front seat.

_'Poor girl's exhausted'_

In silence she made the drive back to the City.

* * *

"I insist and besides I'm not letting you go all the way back to your dorm at this time of night." 

Maureen sighed, she wouldn't win this argument... and in truth she was tired.

"Thanks Liv", Maureen smiled gratefully.

While the younger woman went to take a shower Liv changed the sheets on her bed and set up the couch for herself.

"Take my bed."

Maureen walked over to her father's partner and hugged her.

Liv was surprised but wrapped her arms around Maureen and held her close, "It's going to be OK eventually, honey".

She heard Maureen sniffle, "Shshsh" Liv soothed.

Tired as ever Maureen pulled away with another smile, albeit a sad one and thanked Liv again.

"Don't mention it. I hope you and your sisters and brother know I'm here for you. All you have to do is call ... Now get some rest."

Maureen went in to Liv's room and shut the door while Liv laid on the couch.

She hoped Maureen would sleep,because she knewshe wouldn't.


	7. After Midnight

Sleep came easily most of the time, of course this was generally achieved through massive amounts of alcohol, so really it was an alcohol induced coma.

Tonight not even Jack could help Elliot out.

"What the hell do I do?"

It was a question Elliot kept whispering over and over again to himself.

He could try to sleep and face Liv in the morning, he could go out and buy more beer to get smashed beyond recognition, or he could run.

Where would he run to though?

Not of his own accord Elliot grabbed his keys and his wallet and left the house.

He chose door number three: to run.

* * *

Across town sleep would not visit Liv either. 

She lay on her back on the couch in the dark, unblinking.

"What the hell is going on in his head?" Liv wondered aloud, furious with her partner and with herself.

Why with herself? She didn't know really, maybe because she felt she could have clamped this off at the start. When was the start anyway?

This question caused Liv to scold herself further for not paying better attention.

Not being able to stand lying there any longer Liv got up and fixed herself a cup of coffee, it was 4:45 in the morning, she had to be up soon anyway.

Taking her mug Liv went to her bedroom and quietly pushed the door open.

Maureen appeared to be sleeping so Liv stood in the doorway and watched over her in silence. How was she holding up? What dreams were going through the young womans mind?

_'At least someone is sleeping.'_

Leaning all her wieght on the door frame Liv managed to doze off standing up.

Unbeknownst to her Maureen had been awake but simply with her eyes closed, she couldn't sleep either. What was she going to do? What had happened to her dad? To her family? Did her mom and siblings need to know about this?

Questions went in a monotonous circle in her mind to the point of frustration because she had no answers.

Could she and Liv pick her father up and dust him off and make him as good as new?

Maureen knew that that was an incredibly naive thought.

What would the morning bring?

The same as Liv and her father Maureen didn't know the answer to that question either so she tried to close her eyes and fall in to slumber.

With Liv watching over her nearby this became possible...

* * *

Sorry it's so short, but I needed a midway point- anyway I hope you're enjoying this :) 


	8. Walls of Secrets

Tapmastaflash22 and Cincyredsalltheway05 you two are great-thanks for the encouraging reviews! Here is more to satisfy your hunger, Enjoy!

* * *

First ring. 

Second ring.

Third ring.

"Damn it, Elliot. Pick up!"

Liv paced through the kitchen and living room with her cell phone pressed to her ear and a mottled expression of concern and frustration.

The voicemail picked up, Liv flipped her phone closed.

"Can't reach daddy?" Maureen appeared from inside the bedroom looking just as exhausted as she'd been when she'd gone to sleep three hours ago.

Liv shook her head, "Nope."

Maureen walked to the couch and curled up in a corner, her knees to her chest and her head resting on her knees.

"Can I make you a cup of coffee or some breakfast?" Liv inquired kindly.

"No, but thanks," Maureen's voice was thick with stress so the response came out strained.

The younger woman's thought's turned to what had been going on in her private life, her college life. Those issues seemed so minuscule compared to what was going on with her family. Now with her dad going down hard and the problems at school Maureen felt like she could cry.

Liv cocked her head and studied Maureen, she was so much like Elliot, stubborn and prone to internalize her emotions and thoughts.

"Last night aside, is everything else OK?"

The question was asked slowly and carefully receiving an equally timid answer with each word weighted.

"It's not important."

Liv's cell phone ringtone interrupted just as she was going to delve further.

"Benson"

She hoped it was Elliot.

"Where the hell are you and your partner?"

Nope.

"Hi, Cap. Listen something's come up and neither of us can make it today-" she began.

Cragen cut her off, "Olivia if there's something going on you better damn well tell me."

Liv sighed, she didn't know what to tell him.

"Uh, honestly I don't know what's going on, but that's what I;m working on finding out", it was as honest an answer as she could give.

"Is this a case? Did something happen to Elliot or his family? Or you?" Cragen just sounded worried now.

"No Cap, look I'll call when I get more information. Bye."

Flipping her phone closed Liv hung her head, she was tired and frustrated and worried.

"What now?"

Liv looked up when Maureen spoke quietly, "I don't know to be honest, but I am going to your house to talk to your dad. Do you wanna come or stay here?"

Maureen stood from the couch, "I'll come along" was all she said as she went to get dressed.

As she walked away Liv watched the 20 year old, what else was going on?

* * *

For such a crappy atmosphere it was a beautiful day, the sun was bright and warm against the backdrop of the vivid blue sky with not a cloud in sight. 

The two women sat in silence while Liv drove out to Queens.

Sitting in the car you could feel the tension; Liv wanted to ask questions and Maureen wanting answers.

Saturday midmorning traffic was either crazy as hell or quiet as heaven, today it was crazy but what else could be expected?

"Have you and my dad talked lately?"

Maureen broke the silence.

"Not really, we've more been yelling, but I know something's been up with him he just won't let me in."

"Yep that's dad," was all Maureen said.

Liv eyed the younger woman as she drove, keeping her gaze on both Maureen and the road gauging her mood before deciding to jump right in.

"Maureen, you know that if you needed to talk that you could count me as someone you could go to, right?"

It was subtle but Maureen caught what her dad's partner was trying to say, "Thanks, Liv," she knew she should talk about it but there was way too much going on with her dad.

Eventually it would be dealt with... Eventually.

"Here we are..."

The announcement died on Liv's lips: Elliot's car was gone.

"Where the hell could he go?"

* * *

Not my best work but I need a filler -anyway my senior year of HS just started and it's crazy so the updates might be far between but they will come:)- Later dayz 


	9. The Tunnel To Truth

Across the water the sun jumped with each wave, the blue green of the ocean sparkling in the brilliant light.

The sand was hot and comforting, both phenomena wrapping him in a blanket.

His mouth was parched, it had been hours since he'd cleaned himself up but he felt good, drunk and sleepy. His clothing was stuck to his skin, the salty water making him feel delirious.

Long hours ago had he finished the icy Grey Goose he'd bought.

Now it was time to sleep, dream pleasant, sunny, happy dreams.

* * *

"Elliot!" 

Liv bounded in to the house, ablaze even in the daylight.

A stale stench met her nose when she walked inside, it was a smell she knew all too well; her eyes teared and she coughed.

The house was as it had been left, bottles strewn everywhere, leftovers gone bad, and the tv blaring soap opera garbage.

Had he just up and left?

When?

Where could he have gone?

Over and over both women, now standing side by side on the porch, mulled over the questions, but came up with no answers.

"What do we do now?"

Liv looked at Maureen, she looked so fragile.

"I think we need to go to the house and talk to Cragen. He and I have both dealt with this monster before, both the alcoholism and-" Liv hesitated, "what your father's become."

Maureen looked away, the tears built in her aqua blue eyes, the eyes she'd inherited from her father.

A swing was anchored to the porch, wordlessly Maureen went and sat down, her face buried in her hands once more. A sob escaped, a mournful, heartbreaking sob that ripped right through Liv.

"Maureen, please talk to me", Liv walked over and sat down, she placed her hand gently on Maureen's back and waited.

Every sob grew more painful than the last.

Liv was lost.

So she continued to wait, as at a snails pace, Maureen ran out of tears.

"Please, talk to me", Liv repeated in a whisper.

Maureen shook her head, "I'm sorry... let's find Daddy first. When I know he's OK then you and I'll talk."

Furrowing her brow Liv pursed her lips together, she was just as stubborn as her father but Liv complied. As long as she was willing to talk eventually then Liv could accept some time.

"Come on, let's go to the house."

* * *

Munch and Fin were sitting at their desks filling out paperwork and waiting for Novak to call about Riley's case, when Liv and Maureen walked in. 

"Well, look who showed up."

"Fin don't start with me", Liv had one hand guiding Maureen in front of her and the other swatted her colleague as she walked by.

Marching in to Cragen's office the door was shut immediately and Liv cut to the chase, "Cap, Elliot's got a problem."

"Yeah I noticed that", Cragen put his pen down and looked up at the two women.

"You know?"

"I know that Elliot's late, that Kathy left him, and that you two have made screaming a sport. What I don't know is what is wrong and you two are playing games."

Cragen sat back and regarded Liv awaiting an answer.

She took a deep breath and looked at Maureen standing beside her silent, "Elliot's got a drinking problem, for how long I don't know. I do know what alcoholism is and it's taken over his life."

No one spoke. The fact that she'd actually stated that her partner was an alcoholic stunned everyone momentarily.

Cragen looked at Maureen then.

She was looking at him but not really, her gaze distant and wandering.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure. I got a call from Maureen late last night asking me to pick her up, we went to her house and I found Elliot passed out among beer bottles, leftover food, and general mess."

Another sigh escaped Cragen.

"Is that what you were up to this morning?"

"Yea, but Elliot's not at home. In fact, it looks like he just up and left - walked out of the house and drove away", there was fear in Olivia's voice.

"Maureen, I know this has gotta be hard and Liv and I understand, but we need your help finding your dad."

She understood what Cragen was asking her and contemplated for a moment.

"We used to go to Rockaway beach for a few weeks in the summer, he might go there. It's where Mom told him she was pregnant with twins."

Standing up Cragen pulled his suit jacket on, "Let's go".

The two women led the way out of the precinct with Cragen telling Munch and Fin to hold down the fort and call if anything came up; they were handling the Albert case, but Casey pretty much had it in the bag.

Cragen, Liv, and Maureen got in the car on the street - off to find out the truth...

* * *

The sun was so warm and comforting, the sand coating him in a thick blanket of stickiness mixed with his salty wet body. 

He didn't care though.

But would very soon...

"Elliot!"

"Dad!"

"Elliot!"

The two labels reached his throbbing, sunburned ears. Where were they coming from?

Unaware of time and space, figuratively speaking, Elliot didn't realize the sounds were drawing closer and closer until...

"Oh my God", Maureen stood rooted in the sand.

Liv and Cragen passed her, "Elliot", was all either could utter.

They picked him up and supported him on each side under his armpit, he mumbled incoherently, drunkenly. Maureen followed behind them. They went to the car, Liv sat in the back with her partner while Cragen drove with Maureen in the front seat.

An anger boiled in Liv's stomach spouting in to her esphogas- hurt squeezed her heart and her mind reeled... hadn't she dealt with this already in life? It was deja vu.

It was time to find out Elliot's dirty little secrets...


	10. My Dirty Little Secret

On the way back home Cragen made only one stop, for aspirin and two pounds of dark roast coffee.

Maureen felt as if she was in an alternate universe, like this couldn't possible be happening.

But it was happening.

Liv sat in the back, Elliot sleeping with his head in her lap and though he wasn't breathing on her she could smell the stench of alcohol all over him.

It brought back so many memories.

Looking down at him anger and hurt and, possibly, betrayal flooded her gaze and Liv had to look away for tears wanted to well up and escape but she had to hold it together.

The house was just as it had been hours ago.

Cragen parked the car on the street and got out, he went to the door behind him and opened it to drag Elliot out by his feet. Liv let her partner's head lower to the seat and she got out, went around and helped Cragen support Elliot as they both lifted him out. Slowly the trio went up in to the house.

Maureen remained behind.

Only alone did she shed any tears. Her mother would find out and so would her brother and sisters and then her whole life would be all the more worse than it was. The image of how low her father had fallen graffited her mind, but the pain that she couldn't turn to him was even worse.

She'd been hiding her own secrets for so long. Now the one person she had always gone to in the past couldn't be there for her. She had to be there for him instead.

"Maureen," Liv's voice was low and concerned.

The younger woman would not look up in to the detective's imploring gaze.

"Sweetie do you want to come inside? Or at least sit out here with me? Captain Cragen's got your dad upstairs and he's cleaning him up."

Wordlessly, Maureen eased out of the passenger seat and allowed Liv to guide her to the front porch steps.

"How could this be happening? Mom's gonna find out and the kids will find out and everything will fall farther in to Hell. What did I do wrong? How could I be so selfish and not have called more often to make sure daddy was OK?"

A painful glare invaded Liv's gaze, "Maureen, look at me, don't you dare think you did anything to bring this on. Your dad did what he did because he was hurting but he didn't, he wouldn't talk to anyone about it. I know this may sound harsh, but he's done this to himself."

Maureen simply looked off in to the distance.

Silence fell between them.

Leaning in to Liv Maureen allowed her weight to be held by her father's partner.

"Please, Maureen, talk to me" Liv spoke softly and encouragingly.

She hesitated, but only for a second, "My grades have started to drop and my best friend and my roommate Sandy, decided she couldn't help me so she started ignoring me or spending night's with her boyfriend... A few weeks ago, Andre got drunk at a party and we went upstairs to his friends apartment. We had sex but I didn't want to, I remember telling him no, but that's it and the next day he apologized but we broke up and now... now I'm carrying his baby..."

Liv wrapped her arm around Maureen and held her closer, she didn't know what to say because she was in shock.

"Oh, honey", Liv eventually murmured, "how far along?"

"A month and a half."

It was a difficult thought to comprehend, but Liv nevertheless processed what she'd been told.

"What now?" Maureen wondered.

To that Liv couldn't answer.

* * *

Cragen had gotten Elliot settled upstairs in bed drying out. 

Now they began the task of cleaning up the mess.

Maureen decided it would be best to clean out her house before she could deal with her own issues and Liv allowed it.

It was a quick process, Liv garbage bagged all of the leftover food and Cragen tossed out the beer bottles. Maureen vacuumed and soon the house looked as it had when the Stabler's had lived under one roof together, clean and orderly.

Even though the roof was caving in around them.

The same question popped up in their minds, what now?


	11. The Fall From Grace

11:15PM (First Person POV):

This is a nightmare I didn't think would happen to me.

Daddy and Liv dealt with this stuff all the time, but it was always someone else and I never comprehended that this could happen to me.

It's cliche, I know.

The worst part is that I can't wake up from it, Daddy is stuck in this Hell with me and Mom refuses to pass over and help him.

Just the look on her face when she showed up was enough to make me want to run and hide. Now she's angry with both me and him because ... well because of everything.

I didn't tell Mom about what happened to me.

Liv is the only one who knows and for as long as I can it's gonna stay that way.

I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow and I can't foresee what's gonna transpire over the next few days or weeks.

That's really scary.

Daddy and I always had a bond, something stronger than father-daughter, he was my rock when I needed someone and the person to scream in my ear if I wasn't using my head the way I knew I should be... It's all changed and I can't change it back.

I feel so incredibly small and alone right now in this strange, dark bedroom.

Liv insisted I take her bed again and I accepted, too tired to argue.

She's laying out on the couch listening to the soft crooning of Norah Jones and probably nursing a cup of coffee because she can't sleep.

I think Liv thinks that I don't know she's been lying awake at night trying to sort through all of this mess. Women, no matter how close, always know these things. It's a gift of sorts.

She told me if I needed anything that I was to simply call her name and she'd come.

Right now I wish I could get my voice to work except I keep recalling the events of earlier and I revisit those hours...

* * *

6 hours earlier (Third person POV):

"Now we figure out what the next step should be."

Liv and Cragen had been through this before, they knew what this monster could do to a person and to everyone else around them.

They still had no concrete answers.

Cragen answered himself, "The next step should be to talk to Doctor Huang, he'll probably recommend therapy and Elliot will probably resist, but we've gotta be firm. No one else needs to know about this, simply that he's gone on leave for a little while. I will tell Munch and Fin, but that's it. Deal?"

He looked at the two women who knew Elliot better than anyone.

"Deal."

"Deal."

Maureen stood from her Dad's favorite armchair and walked back outside.

She needed some air.

Liv followed her out, both at Cragen's nod and on her own recognicense.

"Maureen, how ya doin' sweetie?"

She shrugged and squinted in to the sunlight, "I don't know... I'm sort of numb, I guess. I don't know what I'm gonna do about me or how to handle it. I guess I sort of feel alone and tired. Daddy was always the one I went to when I needed anyone or anything. Now he's sick and the one who needs me."

Her voice was thick with emotion, her appearance haggard and drawn. That small child in the young woman glared through the veneer and that child was like many Liv had to care for.

It broke her heart in to even smaller shards.

"Sweetheart, please know that I'm gonna help you ... if you want my help, our help, then we're here for you. I know what this is like, to watch your life fall apart before your eyes and have no one there to guide you. I..."

Liv's voice trailed off, for a car familiar to them was pulling up.

Two heads in back and two up front.

Kathy.

Kathleen.

Dickie and Lizzie.

"Oh no," Liv whispered.

"Hi Maureen... Hello Olivia."

Kathy's tone was warm with her daughter but grew cooler with her husband's partner, the woman who had driven a wedge between them.

The kids clambered from the car.

Kathleen looked happy to see her big sister and the twins bombarded her with hugs before moving on to Liv.

"Maur, what's wrong?" Kathleen inquired at the look on her sister's face.

Maureen shook her head, "Nothing' Kat."

Everyone moved to go in to the house and there was no stopping them.

"Captain Cragen... what are you doing here? Where's Elliot?" Liv heard Kathy question her boss and she also heard the silence when the woman finished her questions.

His sigh told Kathy that something was wrong, "Maybe the kids should go outside."

"No, that's OK they can stay. Where's Elliot?" Kathy's voice rose noticeably.

Somehow, through the years Kathy could sense her family; she didn't wait for an answer but instead went upstairs to their room.

Everyone winced when they heard her voice.

She pounded back down, "Come on, get back in the car kids... Maureen you too."

Maureen didn't move, "No."

An expression of utter shock and anger spread out like at book on her mother's face. "Get in the car."

"No"

Liv watched at Kathy's face turned separate shades of red before she stormed to the car and got in. With Kathleen, Dickie, and Lizzie's sad face's watching out the window Kathy sped off.

* * *

11:45PM (First Person POV):

All that Maureen saw when she blinked in the jet black darkness was her mother's face.

So many images were now burned in to Maureen's memory and she didn't know how to erase them.

Without any warning a sob escaped from her throat and a fresh torrent of anger and hurt, fear and confusion, and uncertainty rained down.

For a second Maureen was alone with her pain, but the next second Liv was by her side, holding and mothering her.

* * *

Sorry it's taken so long but school has been crazy-busy because it's my senior year and I have a ton of college stuff to do ... gotta keep my GPA up too. Anyway hope ya enjoyed this and I'll update when I can and when writer's block isn't such a pain in the A... Later Dayz 


	12. Paternal Prerogative

Upstairs is finally silent, nothing can be heard except for the low voices coming from the TV down here in Elliot's living room.

I'v gotten myself situated on the couch and now I need some rest.

For awhile I think I've known that something was wrong, but I, like Liv and everyone else, didn't know exactly what was wrong. Now I do and I understand it.

I understand Elliot's need to escape the pain he feels.

But even though I understant it I can't and I won't condone it.

Now it is a matter of getting him help and praying he'll accept that help.

Perhaps the fact that Kathy came over today, with the kids no less, will cajole him in to either going to AA or getting in to Rehab. Personally I believe Rehab is what he needs because Elliot's gotta deal with more than home, he's gotta learn to deal with work better.

We deal with some pretty sick, twisted stuff in our job.

Hell, I see somebody. Not that anyone knows or ever will.

I know Liv feels like hell for not noticing it earlier, I can see it in her face... for the first time in awhile I can read her. My detectives look up to me like a father and I feel like they're my kids so it hurts worse when I know they're in trouble.

Elliot I can read pretty well, it's a guy thing I suppose. I know when he's angry or strung out because it shows in his expressions and his gestures.

So how could I have let it get this bad?

And Maureen's involved too.

She's the one who found him.

I feel like I want a drink myself... I feel like I want a drink all the time, even after so many years of sobriety.

With so many people involved now we're gonna have to try twice as hard to keep this under wraps.

That's another area of concern.

One PP can't know about this or Elliot's out of a job and I can't let that happen. He's part of the foursome of my best detectives in the unit. I'll do anything to protect my squad.

But I've come to realize that no matter how hard we try to help we can't help unless the person wants us to, unless they specifically ask us to help them.

It's not easy and it tears me up inside.

Right now, Elliot's quiet, but I don't know when he'll begin to have the nightmares that have been plaguing him for quite sometime and I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

However, I do know that whatever comes next is unknown...

* * *

I'm sorry, very sorry, I haven't updated in quite awhile but I've been really busy and other stuffs been going on. But tell me what you think of the latest... Sorry it's so short... 

Later Dayz...


	13. Hope

The sun was up and a breeze blew in through the open window catching a bare patch of shoulder skin peeking through the comforter.

He mumbled groggily and moved deeper down in to the bed for warmth.

A smell of some kind had traveled up and in to his bedroom, but it was indecipherable.

And there were voices.

Yawning widely he opened his eyes ever so much, just enough to comprehend where he was.

'Oh no'

His mind registered the bedroom and his smelly body and the grime that covered him.

Another yawn and that smell of food opened his eyes further. He sat up in bed and gave his head a shake, what had happened? How had he gotten here?

Because the last thing Elliot remembered was stumbling from his front door and in to the night.

And who was downstairs?

Slowly Elliot slid out of bed, his feet unsteady but still willing to hold him so that he could walk out to the banister and listen below:

"What now?"

"I don't know. Maybe rehab, it's what he needs I think."

"Me too, but how're we gonna get him there, he's not gonna wanna go willingly and I know it."

"Uh-huh, but we've gotta be firm. And I think if Elliot realizes that Kathy and now all the kids know he'll clean his act up."

Then there was silence for a minute.

And another voice that next minute.

"He's not up yet?"

"Sorry honey, your dad's still out cold."

"I'm gonna go sit outside for awhile."

"OK, honey."

Footsteps followed, Elliot crept back in to the hallway so Maureen wouldn't see him. Just as he was about to resume his position Liv walked out too and Elliot had to quickly shrink back into the shadows.

Sitting up against the wall he blinked several times as bits and pieces of the past few days slipped in to his memory.

There was the mess and Maureen finding him, then her leaving and his drinking some more. Then Liv showed up and left with his daughter. Next came the car and the Grey Goose and the beach. Someone called his name hours later and his body ached with the jerky move to the car. Captain Cragen had helped him in to bed...

Kathy had shown up ... and that was all he could recall.

They werecoarse details, but enough to make him want to die with every foul emotion.

Closing his eyes Elliot rested his head against the wall, exhaustion taunting him some more.

* * *

Maureen sat outside on the porch swing and breathed in the morning air. 

She wanted to melt in to the past if it was at all possible, perhaps inhaling great gulps of a world she'd once known would make her wish come true.

But everytime she closed her eyes the look in Andre's eyes during ... during what? What could it be called that had gone on? It wasn't just sex because that was a mutual decision, but Maureen didn't think it was rape either ... she didn't know...

Then that look the next day and his apology and that look when he turned and walked away.

And again, when Maureen had told him she was pregnant.

It was a look of pure emptiness, his tone hollow and unfeeling.

Did that make Andre a perp? Someone Liv and the squad arrested and someone Ms. Novak prosecuted?

No, no it couldn't...

Her stomach flopped then, nerves Maureen told herself; she blinked several times and turned her face to the expanse of neighborhood.

A breeze blew at her face drying the stray tears that had fallen unconsciously.

New thoughts invaded ... about her father...

What would happen? Where would he go? Would he get help?

So many questions still turned spirals in Maureen's mind that she didn't see Liv join her until the older woman sat down on the swing next to her.

"What are you thinking about?"

This was the most direct question Liv had asked her yet.

"Everything and nothing. Andre, the baby, daddy," Maureen turned to look at Liv but couldn't bring herself to meet Liv's gaze and again turned her eyes to her hands.

"What can I do for you?" Liv wondered quietly.

Shrugging Maureen also shook her head, but supplied a worded answer, "I don't really know, I mean I'm still so confused about what happened with Andre and what to do about the baby. Then there's everything concerning Dad and what comes next."

"Would you like the squad's help in pressing charges? Or simply my help with navigating through this and beyond?"

Maureen looked up this time, in to her father's partners' eyes ... her friend's eyes and held the eye contact for a moment while procuring an answer from her mind.

"I don't want to press charges because it is too late and there is no evidence besides the child I have growing inside me. I want your help, Liv. I don't know what's coming next with anything and I'm scared. I'm angry at Dad now too and sad. Mom and I probably won't speak for awhile because that's how she's become. And the kids don't need this, they need Dad to get his act together. And me, I need you."

It was the most Maureen had said and the most thought and feeling she'd put in to any monologue yet.

Liv nodded, "OK, I am here for you. We will get through this, you're not alone."

Maureen leaned over and wrapped her arms around Liv's neck, her head laying on the older woman's shoulder and Liv wrapped her own arms around Maureen and hugged her close, as a mother does.

"I know..."

* * *

"Welcome to the land of the living, Elliot." 

Cragen stood in the doorway of his detective's bedroom and watched Elliot glare out the window.

"Hi Cap," his voice was stony and cold with numbness.

Walking farther in Captain Cragen sat down on the bed and stared at Elliot's back, "Are you with me right now?"

A nod.

"I have a good feeling you've gotten a hand around what's happened these past few days so I'm just going to jump right in, you need help. Liv and I both know it and I think you do too. You need rehab and counseling. This will be kept between you, me, and Liv workwise. Personally, this is gonna take everyone. Right now it's all about you."

Cragen took a breath, this was tiring to say the least.

"Fine" came Elliot's small voice, the tone unchanging.

He'd expected, almost hoped for a fight or some sort of staredown, but all the same Cragen was thankful for no argument and no shouting matches.

"Are Liv and my daughter here?"

"Yes, they're outside talking ... they've grown very close ... and they're both worried as hell about you. I think I know who the two most important women are for you."

To this Elliot gave no response.

During their lull in speech Maureen and Liv walked up and in together, it was as if they had a keen sense ... they probably did.

"I need help..."

It was all any of the three of them needed to hear from the one.

* * *

What are you thinking now? I'd love to hear :) Well I do apologize again for not updating quicker but my life academically and personally is off balance so... Anyway I love reviews so keep them fresh :). Later Dayz... 


	14. Somewhere In Between

Food tasted good to Elliot and sleep had cleared his mind, if only by a small margin.

He was still tired and sore, physically and emotionally, and would be for a while, until he sobered up and sought help.

Liv and Maureen sat at the kitchen table with him as he ate small bites of eggs and toast, coffee was prohibited at the moment, which he could accept.

Funny, how days of fog and darkness made the fight in a person diminish.

Elliot accepted, for the first time he could recall, that he needed help and that in order to get his children, his work, and his life back he'd need long term help and support.

Liv and Maureen were there for him, he knew.

As were Cragen... and Munch and Fin.

"How does your stomach feel?"

Elliot pulled himself from rumination and looked up at Liv, "OK, I mean the food tastes good."

He smiled a sort of sad smile, a tired smile, and went back to his breakfast.

Cragen walked in from the backyard, "Munch and Fin have the squadroom under control and they send their best wishes. I talked to Huang who's going to get in touch with an old college buddy and fellow psychiatrist with rehab connections."

Elliot gave a nod.

"I'm going to go take a nap," Maureen informed them, accompanied by a yawn.

"All right," Liv rubbed her back as Maureen stood.

The three adults watched her go.

Elliot furrowed his brow, "Is-is Maureen holding up?" Elliot felt anxiety creep in to his chest at how his eldest daughter was acting.

Cragen nodded, "She is" was his response but he looked at Liv as he said it, for confirmation, "Yea, Maureen's been staying with me and I'm taking care of her, don't worry El."

And he didn't, he knew his baby girl was in loving, capable hands.

But where were Kathy and the kids?

He remembered her coming into the room, letting out something that made his whole body ache and then she went pounding down the stairs.

"Kathy? Kathleen, Dickie, and Lizzie?"

Elliot forgot his breakfast and looked up at his partner and best friend, then at his boss, the man who was like the father he'd never really had, for an answer.

The two exchanged a glance, "Uh, El... I don't know to be honest. Kathy was pretty angry when she came back down and the kids looked pretty wild-eyed, even Kathleen. They probably won't be coming around for a while."

A pain shot through his skull at Olivia's answer.

He'd screwed up, big time.

Breakfast was entirely abandoned as everything went through his minds processing system.

"Come on, let's get you dressed. Huang said he'd call back soon and let us know... I'm not gonna lie Elliot, but you're going in to rehab today. So we'll pack too."

Cragen moved to help him up, Elliot shrugged him off, not enjoying this one bit although accepting some of the humiliation, "Fine," he whispered, stood, and began to walk from the kitchen.

His boss followed, Liv motioning to grab the clean clothes off the stairs on his way up.

She went to sit with Maureen for a while.

* * *

"Uh-huh. OK. I guess we'll drive him there soon-and you'll meet us... OK, we'll call you when we leave here. Thanks, bye Doc." 

Flipping his cell phone closed Cragen watched as Elliot put his things together, slowly, and then stood with bag in hand and look at Cragen.

"I'm, um-I'm ready."

"OK."

The two men walked downstairs.

"Liv... Maureen" Cragen called out.

The two women appeared, ready to go or as ready to go as any of them could be.

Elliot walked out first, he dumped his bag in the trunk of the sedan and slid in to the far side. Cragen followed, he was doing the driving; Liv looked around for anything they could have forgotten before heading outside as well, she would sit in the back-seat with her partner. Maureen was the last to leave, she checked the locks and made sure everything was turned off then she shut the front door and made her way to the sedan and got in to the passenger seat.

With a last lost gaze at the house Cragen pulled away from the curb and began the hour and half drive up to Tarrytown.

* * *

No one said a word except for Maureen who needed a restroom, their only stop on the way to the suburbs of the city. 

"What place we going to?"

Cragen glanced in the rearview mirror at Elliot, "Phelps Memorial Hospital."

"Why not Bellevue? Or NYU? Or Mercy?" Elliot wondered, strangely unnerved by going away from the city.

"Because you need to get out of the city and out where there's some tranquility."

Elliot wanted to retort with a sarcastic remark that Tarrytown wasn't exactly what he'd call tranquil, but he kept it to himself.

Liv looked out the window and said nothing, her thoughts too wrapped around her brain to make her get in to the middle of the men's conversation.

She was thinking about so many different things at one time that it made her head sore and her chest want to burst like a balloon. Like Maureen, although unwilling to admit to it, Liv was numb too, and angry and uncertain. She couldn't let it show because she was the strong one, the lioness protecting her pride and who showed no weakness.

Tossing a glance up at the back of Maureen's head Liv wondered how she'd gotten where she is now.

It started out simply by picking up her partners daughter, but escalated in to a full blown crisis intervention.

And now with the intervention under way the numbness was wearing off and the anger was filling its place. The sadness for Maureen and the magnitude of what had happened hit Liv in the stomach like a perps sucker punch.

Outside the suburbs of New York City flashed by seeming like a dream or strange gray area where anything could happen if the right alarm went off.

Would it?

What would come next?

Wait, they were almost to Phelps where they were going to enroll Elliot in to rehab, so could anything else happen unexpectedly?

Liv was geared up for that unexpectation, but all the same turning off to protect herself from what had happened because it's what she had learned to do.

For now she'd close her eyes, take a deep breath, and continue hiding behind the mask of strength and calm.

"Where do we sign in?" Liv asked.

"George said he'd meet us in the main parking lot."

Maureen, Liv, and Cragen kept their eyes alert for the good doctor, "There, he's by the sliding entrance doors" Maureen pointed out.

Don pulled the car to a halt in front of George.

"Hi guys"

Maureen didn't know him, but everyone else did so Liv and Cragen said their hellos, Elliot remained in the back-seat not speaking.

"I'm Doctor Huang, you must be Maureen," he smiled warmly at her and extended his hand, she took it with a smile, "Nice to meet you, although it'd be nicer under different circumstances."

George nodded, a comforting gleam in his gaze.

"Is Elliot ready to go?"

"Yep," Liv retrieved his bag and handed it to Huang.

Elliot got out unaided, but hesitantly.

"Elliot has to do this on his own," George looked around at the group who each nodded and everyone looked at Elliot.

He grabbed his bag from the doctor and walked inside the hospital, George followed him in.

Liv, Maureen, and Cragen watched their retreating backs, Elliot didn't say or do anything, he didn't even look back.

All three, tired and drained, got back in to the car and again drove away.

* * *

I know a lot about admitting someone to a hospital for psychiatric reasons, but not a lot about alcohol rehab so correct me if I'm wrong about anything. Later Dayz :)... 


	15. Facing the End of the World

He felt sick to his stomach... he wanted to throw up... but they wouldn't give him a reprieve.

"OK Elliot, I'm going now. But I'll be back tomorrow."

He didn't acknowledge the psychiatrist, just kept following the nurse leading him down the long hallway.

So this was it ... the end of his world as he once knew it...

* * *

You know how all the fairytales go-or at least how the endings go-Prince Charming whisks his new bride away on a great white stallion.

Yeah-that's what we all want to believe.

In fairytales.

And we think, as almost all little girls do, that our father's are Prince Charming on great white stallions ... and whom can do no wrong ... who are perfect in our eyes.

But we grow up and realize that the person we thought could fix everything and anything is really a human being, not just our daddy.

When we realize that it's like a little part of us peels away and the harsh reality of imperfect mortality invades. My dad used to be perfect in my eyes, he was my knight in shining armor who could mend my heart if a boy broke it or who could patch up my knee when I skidded across the pavement from a bike fall.

Daddy was everything to me ... and he was the man Mom loved so unconditionally and who made our family complete.

Now I understand what it is to experience that pain of growing out of childhood.

It's not a pain anyone can make go away with a magic wand, but it is one that eases with time and life lessons.

People we've grown close to and trust help, but ultimately it is on our part to take responsibility and figure out a way to navigate whatever this is.

The last few months and days have taught me how imperfect my family is, how flawed my dad is, but how strong he's going to become from taking this step for himself ... and us. And I know I'm not alone in the aftermath of all this, which makes the pain just a little less.

But now I have to deal with this world that has ended...

This world that has ended with my dad needs to be handled, but also the world for me, the world that has been stomped on and bruised.

"Ready?"

I shook my head, "But as long as your with me I am."

Liv grinned at me sadly, as if she knew what I was thinking. Taking her hand we met the doctor and the counselor at the office door.

I closed my eyes for a moment and stopped... Good-bye to fairytales...

**END**

* * *

Hope ya enjoyed the show and please come again... R&R:)... Latte Dayz...


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